I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
