That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
