I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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