Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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