I think scott just propositioned me for sex
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
