you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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