does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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