you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
