I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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