OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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