Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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