Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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