i think i have herpe
just one?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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