U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
fuck your aforementioned shoe
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
