Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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