I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
two words: eviction party
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
