i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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