his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
