go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
