Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
