Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
