I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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