is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There r osticjed everywhere
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
