The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
