I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
