So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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