Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
