You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Randomize
