i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is the high leading the old right now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
