You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
