Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Fuck appropriateness.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
