Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
