So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
