don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
