I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
