i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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