3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
