I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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