don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
