He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Couch. On fire.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
