so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
