Me too!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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