So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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