Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
how can u be prego again
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
