I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
