i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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