last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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