3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
MIDGETS
????
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
