Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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