did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
