Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
